I just read a list of 'the 100 things to do before you die'. I'm pretty surprised 'yell for help' wasn't one of them...

I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said, "Parking Fine"

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

Every rule has an exception, especially this one.

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them

Whenever I hear the saying " Any thing is possible " I say : " Have you ever tried nailing Jell-O to a tree, slam a revolving door or chew air? Yeah that's right

Statistics say that 1 in 4 people are insane, so take a look at your 3 best friends and if they are all OK, its you!